An Evolving Creative Life

I recently started bringing air-dry clay sculpting into my work. I have always had a fascination with pottery. Something about working with earth elements in my hands (soil, stones, clay) feels so calming, grounding and primal.

I have had a dream for a long time of creating with a pottery wheel and kiln. I own many pieces of pottery from other potters. Last week an opportunity came to me that I do feel was a divine nudge. A potter acquaintance contacted me out of the blue and told me she was retiring and wondering if I was interested in purchasing a complete pottery workshop setup (plus more). I went yesterday and in two loads, my garage is full of pottery equipment!

I am so excited to get started! I will be setting up my workspace this summer. I am feeling completely overwhelmed but I do still hold that vision for myself of creating beautiful pottery. I have a ton to learn but am excited about this next step!

In my own experience, creativity does not really start and end. It is a constant flow. Sometimes fast like a rumbling river and sometimes trickling like a natural spring. I have moved through many creative endevours including painting, sketching, wood working, beeswax wraps, sewing, etc. They were all so worth it! I feel this next step into pottery will be me bridging my life path coaching with clay sculpting for healing and growth. I am excited to help people in this way as I bring the meditative experience of pottery into the world of personal development.

How are you keeping your creative spirit meandering down the river?

5 Practices of Conscious Motherhood

To The Awakened Mother

The Queen Bee is a symbol of motherhood and a reminder to prioritize your emotional and physical growth and change.  She leads by intuitive truth through emotions, heart and creativity.  She is the matriarch who honours her own truth while understanding and guiding the hive to the bigger plan and purpose.

Parenting can feel really hard. 

If we see children struggling, that means parents are usually  struggling too.

What do you do when your children are pushing you away?

What do you do when your children want space  as they enter adolescent years?

How do you grieve and love in the acceptance of an unexpected diagnosis or loss?

How do you manage your own energy so you can show up as a conscious, present mama?

How do you filter through conditioning and family patterns that you are ready to let go of and lead your family in a new way?

How can you release the old beliefs and patterns of the generational parenting that don’t sit right anymore so you can lead your family into the new Parenting Paradigm?

Learn how to cultivate a life with more presence.  Do the work to grow and heal your own triggers and unhealthy coping methods.  Learn to lead your family into the new Parenting Paradigm as you release the old beliefs and patterns of the generational parenting that are in doubt.  Some things from the past still work, but some need to be released or upgraded!

You mama, are here to lead your family into the new Parenting Paradigm!

5 Practices of Conscious Motherhood

Below are the 5 evolutionary practices I have been guided to share with you, culminated from my own life experience as an awakened mama:

1.      Slow Down

Life can get busy and the weeks/months/years can fly by.  Are you feeling like you are not present and it is going by too quickly?  Many things can distract us from enjoying the motherhood journey. These distractions can suck our precious time (and our TIME is very precious). Some are necessary obligations/distractions– like work, bills, passion, balance in life, etc.  Some are chosen distractions – electronics, numbing out with tv, alcohol, avoidance, people-pleasing, etc. If we take time every day to slow down and become completely present with what we are experiencing, calming our nervous system, we can begin to ground and cultivate our life from a calmer state, honouring our pace and energy levels.  This is an awareness of self.  The gift of our presence for our children is a great way to show love.  We will begin to enjoy more little moments.  Practice this as often as you can this week: Get up before your children and sit for 5-10 minutes in quiet. Connect with your breath.  Put your hand on your heart chakra (center of chest). Listen to what your body is telling you.  Journal if you want to. 

2.    Break the Cycles

Generational parenting patterns are handed down, learned behaviours.  In our generation of awakening, we are given the gift of deep self reflection and introspection. We often fall back onto what we know in the way we were raised.  And so it continues – if we allow it to.  Some of these cycles are meant to be broken. Some of these patterns originated around wounding, fear, control, patriarchal imbalance, survival, poverty and loss.  When we become more conscious in our own parenting behaviours we can choose new ways to parent.  It is up to you to decide where in your parenting, if any, changes need to be made.  I will note that some ways in which we parent are from our own childhood traumas & experiences.  We can heal these triggers by doing our own healing work through therapy, life coaching or self improvement on our own.  Put this into Practice by noticing your parenting strategies this week – watch how your body responds after interactions, do you have flashbacks to your own childhood and how you were parented.  We are not aiming to be perfect parents here, we are just looking for improvement.  Question the things that don’t feel right.  Journal your findings to go deeper into your own childhood experiences.  Are there ways you parent like your parents?  What inherited parenting patterns are working for you?  Which ones are not? 

3.    Empathic Listening

When we practice presence more often in the day, it is easier to listen to our children.  By slowing down, we are also able to give our children our full attention.  When we tune into our children, when we ask how their day was, do we truly listen?  We want our children to feel heard.  Holding space for them to vent, and be present with them through their best and their worst, is an act of love.  Stay with them in the hard times – if you can stay nearby, within sight so they feel loved (unless you need a momma time out to calm yourself). Make eye contact.  Your body language should be relaxed and attentive, not rushed and hurried.  When we practice empathic listening, we are listening with an open heart and mind, not always quick to solve their problems.  Help them find solutions, or just let them vent if they need it.  Helping them learn to communicate hard things is important for life.  Use all of your senses when you are having intense conversations, called environmental listening.  Listen for the things not said through eyes shifting, voice changes, delays, body language.  This is activating for your mother’s intuition.  Practice this when the opportunity arises. In addition, you can start each day by saying good morning to your child with eye contact.

4.   Support Your Kids For Who They Are

Our children have unique personalities, likes, dislikes and quirks.  We can learn to accept our children for their uniqueness.  We are not here to raise mini versions of ourselves.  To help your children in becoming their AUTHENTIC SELF, allow them some freedom to explore different interests and passions, whenever possible.  It is normal in childhood for children to “try on” different ways of being – through tastes in music, new friendships, clothing styles and different activities.  Some of this may bother you.  As an awakened mother, be witness to these changes and keep a pulse on it - avoiding helicopter-parenting. Allow them to get to know themselves better and see what fits for them and what doesn’t.  Please note * If “styles” or experimentation with drugs or alcohol are concerning, talk with your child, learn about it yourself, and seek help if necessary.  The idea is to help your child learn healthy outlets & coping skills for troubles in life.  The best way to do that is to MODEL IT!  Help your child find outlets they truly enjoy to release stress and anxiety.  To put this into practice acknowledge and accept exactly where you are at with these journaling prompts: Is there behaviour in my child that is different or upsetting to me and I need to learn more about it?  What do I love about my child?  What do I struggle with about my child?  Are there things about my child where I can say “this too shall pass” or surrender it to the divine will “your will not mine”? In my child’s struggles, is it triggering something in me such as memories of my own childhood, protection or a trauma response?  Are there ways I did not feel safe and free to be my unique self as a child?

5.    Be Flexible

Learning to move with grace from one phase of our child’s growth to the next is a challenge for most.  Just when we think we have the current phase under control with understanding and routine, it changes!  Can you see how this mirrors your own adult growth and development?  We are constantly growing and changing and adapting to new circumstances in life.  Life changes quickly and so do the ages and stages of children. You can adjust your parenting style for the unique needs of each child – meeting their love languages.  We are human, we will make mistakes.  Be open to the teachings YOUR OWN CHILD is teaching you.  Be flexible with the twists and turns.   Release expectations of things turning out exactly how you want them to and allow things to unfold. Have faith.  Use your intuition when setting boundaries and rules.  Sometimes things happen with our children that shake us to our core, and it is a significant event, but we get through it and things do turn out ok.  Have faith in that as you navigate the tides of motherhood.  To put this into practice find ways in the week to have fun with your child doing something they enjoy.   See if there are areas where you can allow things to “just be” as you all navigate through this journey of life together.

As I reflect on my own motherhood journey, I see how precious this time is with my children.  I continue my own self improvement and healing, reminding myself to not take myself too seriously and to enjoy the journey more.  The 5 practices above have helped me to become a better mother.  Our relationships have improved, I am able to set boundaries, we have strong bonds as I look for ways to connect with my teens on a daily basis.  I am always a work in progress and I love being an awakened woman on this motherhood journey!

MAMA’S YOU ARE AMAZING!!  You grew a unique soulful person inside your body and now you are raising these humans to become strong, functional adults.  By nurturing these conscious mothering practices, you can change the way YOU experience motherhood.  By continuing on your awakening path as a woman, you will go through your own life with more joy, gratitude and passion.  I will wrap it up with this quote from an author I adore:

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Wayne Dyer

Pam Sommerfeld , Authentic Living Guide & Nature-Based Creative

If you would like to explore work with me one-to-one in a highly supportive container as you move through the shifts that come with growth and awakening, I offer sessions and packages. I am a certified Life Coach.

True North in Alignment

Living in alignment with your true north is when you feel confident in your life decisions from a deep inner knowing.  This inner knowing feels loving and in the flow with your highest good.

In order to get into the core of who you are, and to trust that inner knowing, you must put in the work to build that foundation.  Our internal navigation system (or intuition/ true north/ inner essence) has always been inside us.  As children we are often not taught to trust that inner knowing.  We often seek for the answers outside ourselves.  When, in reality, the answers lie within.  While we can ask for opinions and thoughts from others, we should take them lightly and rather, trust our hearts in the final decisions.  Our bodies and our feelings don’t lie. Imagine if we learned how to be in the flow of life, the will of creator, and be in co-creation with the universe?  The good news is it’s never too late to unearth and tune in to your inner essence and begin to navigate life from that place!

There are often turning points in life where we have big decisions to make and change is upon us. There is always free will in life, and people are given the magical opportunities to make choices in their lives.  When we make these choices from a deep connection to the self and to the divine, we are said to be living “in alignment”.  There are many factors that can take us out of alignment such as societal programming, trauma, fear, self doubt, and judgement from self and others.  There are many ways to build that foundation of inner love and trust back up!

In original terms, True North represents the direction on the compass.  It is a true alignment.  So, as in life, we aim to travel knowing our true north which represents our inner truth and intuition.  We don’t always travel in a direct line, but we work at navigating the journey towards what we feel is true for us.

Often when we make decisions as leaders in our families and communities, it benefits the whole.  By being true to yourself and what you are feeling, helps others to grow into more of who they authentically are.  RIGHT, DIVINELY INSPIRED ACTION goes a long way!

I have found that building the safety to trust my intuition and live aligned to my true north is done by cultivating a life based on self-love, presence, and lots of practice.  I guide women through this.  It shows up as them claiming more space as their true, authentic selves.

Carving out time and space to nurture this relationship to self can be done through small daily practices that don’t take a ton of time.

Are you ready to navigate change and decision making from your true north, feeling content and at peace with your choices?  Reach out and let’s talk about how my supportive, empathic, guidance can help you.

Exploring Feelings

Identifying our feelings can be tricky. Letting ourself feel strong feelings can be difficult. It is important to label our feelings so we can move forward with the awareness and acceptance of WHAT we are feeling. If we do not process the feelings, and determine if there is a need to express them, we can feel agitated, irritable and even sad.

If you struggle with identifying your emotions/feelings, remember that it takes inner exploration and practice as you build the emotional literacy into your understanding. This is part of emotional intelligence. Being able to handle the emotions takes higher awareness and practice as well. This all contributes to our emotional wellness.

As a coach, my job is not to make you feel “Happy”. Instead, I help you build the skills that enable you to accept your emotions and feelings. Often clients come to me at the peak of their pain, seeking help and guidance. I hold space as I guide them to become aware of the feelings, observe them, notice sensations in the body, talk it through, and then decide if they need to be expressed in other ways, or not.

Ways to identify and process your emotions can include finding the core emotion on the feelings wheel, journaling feelings and talking it through. Often we feel a heightened secondary emotions and when we drill down and get to the core of it, it brings huge awareness and the healing can begin.

When you own your emotions, you begin to accept responsibility for what you are feeling and become empowered to work through it, do the healing and find your steps forward in a healthier way.

If you are struggling with strong feelings, reach out and I will work through the feelings wheel with you.

Feel all the feels!

New Year Journal

Welcome!  I am providing this free journal with intentions of helping you gain clarity and find some healing from your 2020 experience. I encourage you to find some quiet solitude with a warm beverage and take some deep relaxing breaths as you being to wrap up the energy of 2020 and welcome in some new energy of 2021!

Reflect on the year with curiosity and self-compassion.              

 Your Experience of 2020:

1.      If you could wrap up the energy of 2020 into one word, what would that word be?

2.      What were your “wins”/things to celebrate this year?

3.      What were your challenges this year?

4.      What did you learn about yourself this year and/or what were your top 3 lessons?

Closure & Reflections:

5.      What do you need to shed or leave behind from this year that no longer serves your highest good?

6.      Explain how you felt (or didn’t feel) a sense of community in 2020?

7.      Who were the most important people in your life this past year?

8.      How did these people support you, teach you or help you grow?

9.      What areas of wellness did you struggle with the most in 2020?

Looking Forward:

10.  With your wellness in mind, what are the areas of wellness you want to strengthen in 2021?

11.  What are your next steps towards this better wellness-state?

12.  What are the blocks that have held you back in the past and how can you begin to heal those or move through them? (could be negative self-talk, injury from going too fast- too soon, lose motivation, etc)

13.  When you sit and are quiet with your feelings, what are you wanting more of in 2021?

14.  What relationships need more of your time and energy in the coming cycle?

15.   If you could see a vision of yourself one year from now, what is one word that encompasses how you want to feel and how is he/she different than the version of you now?

I encourage you to develop a daily practice that allows you to connect to your inner world.  This can look different: yoga, meditation, prayer, contemplation, music, exercise, journaling, etc.  It is not so important what you are doing but that you do it with intentions of healing, letting go of blocks and growing in higher awareness.

Shadow Work

Shadow work – what is it?  Our shadow selves show up as aspects of our negative behaviours/thoughts – often automatic, unintentional and unconscious responses to events, people and situations.  These are emotions or qualities within us we wish would go away.  We all have shadow behaviours that we try to keep hidden and pushed down. Shadow responses can sometimes be shown as defensiveness, resistance to change, manipulation, aggression, anger, judgment, neediness, sensitivity, apathy, envy or self-service.  Often, these feel wrong to us and we are embarrassed of them.

WE CAN’T UNCOVER OUR AUTHENTIC SELF UNTIL WE LOOK AT OUR SHADOW.

Personal development includes uncovering both the light and shadow with self-compassion. Learning to accept the fullness of who you are is a huge step in self love. This means we acknowledge them, give them a voice, thank them for their purpose, and find the gifts they have given us.

Our hidden sides are not often seen by others or even ourselves but do have subconscious power over us.  This “dark side” can sabotage relationships, careers, family connections, and the way we function in the world.  By bringing your shadow aspects into your conscious awareness with self compassion you give them less power and free up space for hidden gifts to emerge.  There is a way to discover the gifts in the shadow and integrate them into your life.  For example, if someone struggles with emotional eating (or even food addiction) , there was likely a time when it was used to soothe and cope with a stressful situation.  To acknowledge and thank the emotional eating part of us (where it originated) for the comfort through that particular situation(s), we can make friends and choose to move forward with healthier coping skills. 

How to begin working with the “shadow”:

-Connect to your heart - put your hand on your heart and breathe

-Accept your humanness (we all have a shadow)

-Acknowledge what comes up in your daily life - triggers, reactions in emotion and body

This is not easy work and there is a lot to it in working with shadow on a deeper level.  Bringing the subconscious to the surface takes courage and introspection.  Our triggers in daily situations are often a reflection of something deeper going on inside of us. If you are having trouble getting to the roots of reactions, I recommend journaling and therapy.

If you are drawn to this personal growth in becoming fully embodied as your whole self, I can work with you on bringing these shadow aspects to awareness in a safe and supportive space and help you identify how to move forward with this new awareness and empower you on your healing journey.

*PLEASE NOTE:  this  work can be painful and uncomfortable - Therapists help uncover the reasons the behaviour is there.  If you have suffered trauma or sense that you may have, I recommend a therapist to help you heal and move through the past pain.  I do work with clients who utilize therapy and my coaching in the same time frame.  These services compliment each other.

* In this post I have included my knowledge, research and personal viewpoints from my personal shadow work that do not serve as therapy. On a personal note, the power prayer and spirituality in moving through these parts was very powerful for me.

Shadow work recommended resources:

My suggested book for personal shadow work:  The Shadow Effect – by Deepak Chopra, Debbie Ford, Marianne Williamson

Carl Jung was a psychologist ahead of his time who worked with shadow.  For a psychological perspective I recommend his teachings.

Purpose...

What is MY PURPOSE? That can be a difficult question. We have been given a pause which can be an opportunity to look within, reset, grow and move forward a MORE AUTHENTIC VERSION OR YOURSELF. Getting to know your purpose can be confusing and muddy. You may have many interests and don’t know where to go. I have been fascinated with how to find more purpose in life, have been talking with other coaches, doing my research, AND I AM LIVING IT! Here are few questions to ask yourself to get clearer on what makes your heart sing:

What are your interests?

What are your strengths?

What do you like to talk about and read about?

Remember to keep an open mind!