Shadow Work
Shadow work – what is it? Our shadow selves show up as aspects of our negative behaviours/thoughts – often automatic, unintentional and unconscious responses to events, people and situations. These are emotions or qualities within us we wish would go away. We all have shadow behaviours that we try to keep hidden and pushed down. Shadow responses can sometimes be shown as defensiveness, resistance to change, manipulation, aggression, anger, judgment, neediness, sensitivity, apathy, envy or self-service. Often, these feel wrong to us and we are embarrassed of them.
WE CAN’T UNCOVER OUR AUTHENTIC SELF UNTIL WE LOOK AT OUR SHADOW.
Personal development includes uncovering both the light and shadow with self-compassion. Learning to accept the fullness of who you are is a huge step in self love. This means we acknowledge them, give them a voice, thank them for their purpose, and find the gifts they have given us.
Our hidden sides are not often seen by others or even ourselves but do have subconscious power over us. This “dark side” can sabotage relationships, careers, family connections, and the way we function in the world. By bringing your shadow aspects into your conscious awareness with self compassion you give them less power and free up space for hidden gifts to emerge. There is a way to discover the gifts in the shadow and integrate them into your life. For example, if someone struggles with emotional eating (or even food addiction) , there was likely a time when it was used to soothe and cope with a stressful situation. To acknowledge and thank the emotional eating part of us (where it originated) for the comfort through that particular situation(s), we can make friends and choose to move forward with healthier coping skills.
How to begin working with the “shadow”:
-Connect to your heart - put your hand on your heart and breathe
-Accept your humanness (we all have a shadow)
-Acknowledge what comes up in your daily life - triggers, reactions in emotion and body
This is not easy work and there is a lot to it in working with shadow on a deeper level. Bringing the subconscious to the surface takes courage and introspection. Our triggers in daily situations are often a reflection of something deeper going on inside of us. If you are having trouble getting to the roots of reactions, I recommend journaling and therapy.
If you are drawn to this personal growth in becoming fully embodied as your whole self, I can work with you on bringing these shadow aspects to awareness in a safe and supportive space and help you identify how to move forward with this new awareness and empower you on your healing journey.
*PLEASE NOTE: this work can be painful and uncomfortable - Therapists help uncover the reasons the behaviour is there. If you have suffered trauma or sense that you may have, I recommend a therapist to help you heal and move through the past pain. I do work with clients who utilize therapy and my coaching in the same time frame. These services compliment each other.
* In this post I have included my knowledge, research and personal viewpoints from my personal shadow work that do not serve as therapy. On a personal note, the power prayer and spirituality in moving through these parts was very powerful for me.
Shadow work recommended resources:
My suggested book for personal shadow work: The Shadow Effect – by Deepak Chopra, Debbie Ford, Marianne Williamson
Carl Jung was a psychologist ahead of his time who worked with shadow. For a psychological perspective I recommend his teachings.